Strength

I finally have a moment to myself, if you don't count the little one who is tearing up the Christmas catalog at my feet. 
It has been a pretty good week. I have found myself having more conversations about Zooey, and being asked "Oh, when is she due?" or "What are you having?". And, of course, they are all excited for me, and I just let them be. I don't feel everyone has to know what is going on or make them feel sorry for me. It is actually nice to have people just be excited for me. 
I got to eat lunch with a really good friend this week and we got to talk a little more about the outcome and what Andy and I are expecting. I could talk about it and not shed one tear........that's because I like it when I can be really open with my friends, it is sooo therapeutic. But later that day, when it was just Andy and I, I brought up our wedding date. I had decided I want to change it. One reason is because some much can go wrong and it is a lot to take in right now and until she gets here. Second, I feel we need something good after everything and I want to take the bad day in October and make it a better memory. So, I am trying to tell Andy that I want to get married Oct 8th 2013 and I can't get it out without crying. I don't know why it hits me like that but it does at the strangest times. Of course, if I am going to breakdown on someone, Andy is the best one to break down on. He just takes my hand and I feel better.

I know were my strength comes from, it comes from all the prayers everyone has said for me and Zooey. That is what helped me make my decisions, too. Wither you believe or not, prayers are the most positive thing someone can have going for them in a time of need. But you have to believe that it will help you, no matter how things turn out, never give up hope. I just want to Thank everyone who is keeping the faith and hope for me. 

I know this kind of ran of course but I am trying to get caught up........next time, Halloween!!