First off I will start by saying that I had another baby!! My rainbow baby came to us on Sept 16th, very stress free and joyous! Her name is Harper, after the author of my favorite book, and Maizey, kind of a cross of her sister's names. She is the best baby out of all of them (don't tell the other girls hehe), she would have never been if it hadn't been for Zooey. I think that makes her the most special. Maybe, she will be the one that saves this planet or cures cancer, whatever it is, she was meant to be here and Zooey knew it. 
It took a lot to do it again but I just knew it was going to be okay. I am always humbled by people who tell me that they look up to me and that they could have never done it. I think people under estimate themselves. I am no one special, just someone who was tested, pushed to see where my breaking point was. People deal with decisions similar to mine all the time. We all are heroes to someone, and sometimes we get told to our faces, and sometimes we just change someone's life and we will never know who and how much.
tell you how much I love it and loathe it. Some days I swear I just long for the days where I could get up when I wanted, drink my coffee, go for a 3 mile run, go for drinks or an all day date with Andy and stay up late watching all my shows. Oh and don't get me started on having my old body back!!
But then Mya does something goofy and it makes me laugh, and then I get tears in my eyes because I couldn't imagine not having that little butt head in my life. Mya is my princess. She loves to sing (anything from Frozen or Sia will do) and dance but she has that Gemini side that no one wants to mess with. That poor girl is so much like her mother and I feel like I must apologize for what I have done to her. Mya is special to me for other reasons, one being she made her daddy a daddy for the first time. It can't get any better than that. The others will be seen as she grows, I know deep down she will shine brighter than most.
Victoria comes home with straight As for the up tee
nth time and I swell with pride that I did something right. All by
myself with her for 6 years of her life and she isn't scarred or
rebellious for not having her dad around. Victoria surprises me all the
time with either the music she likes, the way she is getting her own style, and sometimes how she has grown to have such a
smart humor :D That is thanks to her mother and her step dad!!i am so proud of that girl. She is such a beauty but she doesn't care, she flows to her own beat.
I never thought I would be a mother but here I am with three beauties
here on earth and one in heaven keeping me inline. Some days I could
just cry in frustration and the overwhelming noise, but other days bring
me back to earth. I know I would be lost without all of them. So on
days when Mya is screaming from the living room, Tori is rambling about
something I have no clue about, and Harper is throwing up her last
bottle, I will learn to be more patient. I know how precious each of
their little lives are to me. We will dance and sing more, even if it is
Let it Go for the hundredth time. I will savor each time I have to read
a night time book or give four more kisses and hugs. They are what
makes me who I am, and I am so happy to have so much to love. am, and I am so happy to have so much to love. I will do more writing as time goes on, maybe not as much as I like,
but I am making myself sit down and put it on paper. It will be jumbled
thoughts, it could be a novel, who knows at this point. I just feel that
even if no one else ever cares to read it, it will be something I can
leave the girls and it helps me release. I have come a long way since I
started this blog, something that started out of fear and sorrow, and I
think I can turn it into something light, funny, and somewhat
entertaining. I am just asking for you to bare with me as I get it
rolling. We all may learn something ;)
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